Sunday, January 3, 2010

I'm Doin' It..and doin' it, and doin' it well (maybe?)

So how to begin this post? How about...
I'm joining the Mominatrix Sex Revolution!?!?!

Yeah, I'm not actually sure if you want to keep reading this entry (especially if you're say, like my Father-in-Law or something?)

Here's the deal, my friend "Marie" (we'll call her that for sake of the story, and because well, that's actually her name)... but she's been a BFF of mine since like 6th grade, and she's the author of Make and Takes (which is like one of the most frequented Mommy Blogs on the planet -- remember I got to guest blog there once?!?!) Well, she turned me on to this website: Mominatrix.


And I started thinking, I always said I wasn't going to turn into one of those Moms who let life get in the way of ... well, you know.

For the most part I had considered myself somewhat of a sexually-charged individual... but there was really no way to absolutely tell until marriage.

Losing your virginity to your spouse is like being a kid and getting the greatest present in the world on Christmas (or your wedding day)... and all you want to do is play -- day and night (thank goodness for Honeymoons, and Saturdays... and bless me, every other day of the week as a newlywed.)

But eventually life happens... and then you get cable, and life shifts to uneaten brownie batter on the couch and gaining way more than the Freshman 15.

Can you say Fattie?

And then you're preggers, and have a baby and find yourself muffin topping in every piece of clothing you own.

There's more, right?

Then there's the nursing bit (or pumping in my case). Believe me, nothing kills libido like being hooked up to a machine for an hour every day being 'milked' like a dairy cow.

Oh, sweetheart...you find my oversized chest attractive? Awesome, let me just unhook myself from these plastic nipple shields and we can get busy. (Have I crossed a line? I've probably crossed a line, eh?)

So thank you Mominatrix... I will give this a go.

Like I mentioned, Holden will be one in less than a month. It's time to do my best Gene Autry and get back on proverbial saddle again.



5 comments:

Allison said...

you had me at "Anal Lube"

Alicia said...

Sabrena, when I first read your title I thought that you were going to continue on by saying that you and Danny are going to start "trying" for another...little did I know the real "enlightenment" I would receive by reading your post. I love it.

ashlie said...

k- first of all you are hilarious second I am super excited for you for your new venture! Good luck!

Quentin & Christie Nelson said...

Congrats on your resolution Sabrena! As your renters I will make sure we turn up the TV extra loud late at night just as a precaution in support of your new exploits. (And P.S., you are the best writer. You should totally write a book.)

Mrs.Olson said...

So there. Especially with Basketball season upon us and a teething/breastfed busy almost 6 month old.