I think I smell a rat...

Well, we don't have much time so I'll just tell you about me. ;)

Fred is not dead... and if he is still living after all the rat poison he's been eating he's going to turn into some sort of Mighty Mouse character; because animals cannot consume that much crap and keep living.

Wait, americans consume that much McDonalds and seem to be fairing well, despite our enormous overall size from consuming that much crap... 

But the poison is blue... Who eats BLUE food?  I pick out the friggin' blue M&M's because blue food is just not right.  (PS.  Blueberries obviously do not count; they're are not that non-naturally-occurring blue colour... just for the record.)

So I lied; I'm not the mouse whisperer.  I had to opt for the poison; as the $40 Pest A Cator looks like a lovely outlet decoration, but doesn't do much for keeping Fred at bay. 

On a separate but similar note; not only does Fred enjoy fancy crackers, he has developed a penchant for $5-a-pound granola from the health bins at Dans.  Yeah, you can find them next to the carob chips and tofu snacks. )

NAMASTE, to living things everywhere (but I selfishly pray that Fred is soon Dead.)