Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Tuesdays with Sabrena

Random thoughts for today’s entry. . . .

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If you don’t like the movie The Royal Tennenbaums, you are either:
a) Really spiritual and therefore cannot connect with the humor
-or-
b) Just need to watch it a few more times to see it for its true genius

post script. If you answered “a,” you’re obviously not very humble, and therefore not as spiritually sound as you think. That said, YOU SHOULD REPENT . . . but first watch Royal Tennenbaums because it’s rated-R, and you’ll have to repent for watching it eventually anyway. Might as well get all those sins wiped away at once.

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I noticed last night at the Gold’s Gym pool that all the people who lap swim are pretty much a bunch of fatties. All of the skinny bikini bods hang out in the adjacent Jacuzzi where they can show off their bangin’ figures – they do not spend time water-waddling. Unfortunately, I do not hang out in the Jacuzzi – ever. When it comes to water and the gym, I am always in the pool -- exercising with the other fatties. I don’t know exactly what I ought to glean from this observation . . . but I’m pretty sure it’s the same conclusion I come to after getting on the scale or shopping for a swim suit some place wretched with fluorescent lighting like the former Copper Rivet.

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Have you ever noticed that people who say “titles don’t matter” are usually people with titles that DO matter? Like, when was the last time you heard a $10-an-hour employee say, “Man, titles don’t mean a thing to me. I just want the right person in the right job. It’s all about finding the right fit.” (this comment is much funnier if you say it with an accdent like Cheech and Chong) Exactly my point. . .

post script. Although Brandi Honey may be the exception to this rule . . . she really doesn’t think titles matter – to her everyone is equal. My theory on this one stems from the Enneagram . . . . if no-one has a title, than no-one is officially in charge. And if no one is officially in charge, the playing field is leveled and there are opportunities aplenty.

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I can’t hear the phrase “internal relations” with out cracking a smile.

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Ordering a cran-apple juice from the flight attendant on a turbulent flight from Saint George to Salt Lake when you’re wearing a white shirt is like unto the war in Iraq. . . a selfish leadership decision with no exit strategy that you’re going to regret even if it looks like there might be an end in sight. (I’m just saying, maybe Dub-ya should’ve ordered water.)

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Songs with Odd Titles
• I wanna be your Joey Ramone. (Now defunct indie riot grrrrl outfit “Sleater-Kinney”
• I wanna be your Yoko Ono. (I think this was that Canadian band Bear Naked Ladies)

Which leads me to my last point . . . when I’ve said the phrase “Bear Naked Ladies” in the past, images of pin-up dolls have never crossed my mind. . .. but a bear in the wilderness attacking a Mounty (Mountie?sp?) has.

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And with that I leave you to ponder and respond. . . . Have I mentioned I friggin love “comments?”


Until next when ever,

Sabrena Mangum (nee Suite)

2 comments:

tyler said...

Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking
beer.

Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life
without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college,
and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two
leave.

The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets dean of Admissions,
who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, history, and
Logic.
"Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?"

The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?
"Yeah." Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that
You would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically
that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a
family." "Yes, I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a
family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife,
then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that
because I have a weed eater."

Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go
meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for
Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?"

Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?"

"No."

"Then you're a queer."

Sabrena Suite-Mangum said...

Tyler - that's funny.